*Trigger warning: rape, sexual assault
Is it any wonder that a huge number of rape victims don't report their rape to the police? It's hard, of course, to determine how many women are raped every year because an estimated 89% of rapes go unreported. But estimates show approx 78,000 rapes happen a year - 69,000 of them being female victims, 9,000 male.
The reason for this post is because Judy Finnigan, veteran presenter, spoke on Loose Women about how Ched Evans, the former Sheffield United football player, should be allowed to go back to his job when he comes out of prison.
I hadn't heard of this case until I saw a petition floating around to stop him from going to the Sheffield. And then a friend drew my attention to Finnigan's comments.
On Loose Women, Finnigan said: "He’s served his time. The rape – and I am not, please, by any means minimising any kind of rape – but the rape was not violent. He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.
So she apologised, which means Hooray! No more victim blaming!? No. Finnigan's apology said she didn't intend to "minimise the terrible ordeal" that the victim suffered. But minimise she did - and her comments cannot be taken back. There was no need for her to even mention the fact that the woman had been drinking (because surely everyone knows inebriation does not equal consent? No?) or the fact it was not a violent rape. There are enough individuals that are outraged by these comments to show that victim-blaming is being held up for what it is and people are being made to apologise for it. But what we need to do is reeducate society from the bottom to the top about rape, sexual assault, consent, and how to treat victims.
Our society holds on so dearly to the idea that rapes happen in dark alleys by violent attackers, when the reality is so much closer to home. But that's why we hold onto this ridiculous notion - because the truth that as many as 97% of rapes are perpetrated by people we know is too uncomfortable. Home Office stats showed that 56% of rapes were committed by a former or current intimate partner. And victims are beaten in 9% of rapes. So Evans' rape victim is actually the norm. And what an upsetting and horrifying norm that is.
Is it any wonder that a huge number of rape victims don't report their rape to the police? It's hard, of course, to determine how many women are raped every year because an estimated 89% of rapes go unreported. But estimates show approx 78,000 rapes happen a year - 69,000 of them being female victims, 9,000 male.
The reason for this post is because Judy Finnigan, veteran presenter, spoke on Loose Women about how Ched Evans, the former Sheffield United football player, should be allowed to go back to his job when he comes out of prison.
I hadn't heard of this case until I saw a petition floating around to stop him from going to the Sheffield. And then a friend drew my attention to Finnigan's comments.
On Loose Women, Finnigan said: "He’s served his time. The rape – and I am not, please, by any means minimising any kind of rape – but the rape was not violent. He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.
“It was unpleasant, in a hotel room, I believe, and she was – she had far too much to drink. And you know, that is reprehensible, but he has been convicted and he has served his time.”
Now, I am not surprised that Judy fell into the stereotypical trap of victim blaming. I am rarely surprised by victim blaming these days. What I am heartened by is the outrage shown by viewers and people who have complained about these comments, leading to Finnigan issuing an apology.So she apologised, which means Hooray! No more victim blaming!? No. Finnigan's apology said she didn't intend to "minimise the terrible ordeal" that the victim suffered. But minimise she did - and her comments cannot be taken back. There was no need for her to even mention the fact that the woman had been drinking (because surely everyone knows inebriation does not equal consent? No?) or the fact it was not a violent rape. There are enough individuals that are outraged by these comments to show that victim-blaming is being held up for what it is and people are being made to apologise for it. But what we need to do is reeducate society from the bottom to the top about rape, sexual assault, consent, and how to treat victims.
Our society holds on so dearly to the idea that rapes happen in dark alleys by violent attackers, when the reality is so much closer to home. But that's why we hold onto this ridiculous notion - because the truth that as many as 97% of rapes are perpetrated by people we know is too uncomfortable. Home Office stats showed that 56% of rapes were committed by a former or current intimate partner. And victims are beaten in 9% of rapes. So Evans' rape victim is actually the norm. And what an upsetting and horrifying norm that is.
Finnigan has, however, raised a good point about ex-offenders and
them being allowed to get on with their lives - should he be allowed to go back
to his job as a footballer? Understandably, as a footballer he will not only be
paid very handsomely (for kicking a ball around...) but he will be in the
public eye - kids will look up to him as a role model. He will wear a kit that bears the logos of sponsors. Ex-offenders often find
it very hard to reintegrate into life after prison, and Judy is right that he
has done his time for the crime he committed. Criminals must face the very real consequences of their actions - although in the case of rape convictions the police have a 60% success rate. Not hugely encouraging. The England & Wales average for detection of rape, i.e recorded rapes that result in a charge or a caution (a CAUTION???) is a measly 18%. So the average rape victim has a less than 20% chance of having their rapist even charged with the crime, and then only a 60% chance of them being convicted.
Committing a crime - and being punished for it - will have a major impact on someone's life, and undoubtedly will have had an impact on Ched Evans. I guess the thing here is whether being punished by the law is enough. The reason why so many people are against Ched Evans picking up his football career where he left off is because it would seem as if the crime never happened – he never raped this woman, he never went to prison for it. It could be seen to negate the consequences of committing crime. The very consequences that are supposed to discourage committing crime in the first place.
Discussing that Ched Evans' sentence is being halved with my sister, she pointed out that if there are no incentives for criminals to reform, then they won't. This doesn't just mean good behaviour early releases, this means reintegration into society. Ever heard of a second chance? It's easy to judge a person on the worst thing they've ever done. I'm not advocating soft-heartedness on all criminals. In fact, I don't know what the solution is.
All I know is I am the kind of person that believes that if people seek help, they should be given it. Apologies will never take a crime back, will never bring back a loved one, will never heal the physical or emotional scars of a crime. But we need to be focusing on building a society where people are better, so that our prisons aren't so full, as well as establishing schemes where ex-offenders can get back to their lives. We only have one life, after all.
Committing a crime - and being punished for it - will have a major impact on someone's life, and undoubtedly will have had an impact on Ched Evans. I guess the thing here is whether being punished by the law is enough. The reason why so many people are against Ched Evans picking up his football career where he left off is because it would seem as if the crime never happened – he never raped this woman, he never went to prison for it. It could be seen to negate the consequences of committing crime. The very consequences that are supposed to discourage committing crime in the first place.
Discussing that Ched Evans' sentence is being halved with my sister, she pointed out that if there are no incentives for criminals to reform, then they won't. This doesn't just mean good behaviour early releases, this means reintegration into society. Ever heard of a second chance? It's easy to judge a person on the worst thing they've ever done. I'm not advocating soft-heartedness on all criminals. In fact, I don't know what the solution is.
All I know is I am the kind of person that believes that if people seek help, they should be given it. Apologies will never take a crime back, will never bring back a loved one, will never heal the physical or emotional scars of a crime. But we need to be focusing on building a society where people are better, so that our prisons aren't so full, as well as establishing schemes where ex-offenders can get back to their lives. We only have one life, after all.
***
The other night, my sister & I attended a talk with Laura Bates and Caroline Criado-Perez, discussing what needs to be done to overturn the institutionalised sexism in our society. The point was raised about Emma Watson's recent appointment as a UN Goodwill Ambassador and her launch of the HeForShe campaign. The idea that feminism is unpalatable to men has long made feminist's eyes roll - as was pointed out by the speakers, the idea that we have to show that sexism is bad for men too in order to get their support is commendable, but the simple fact of the matter is that we should be asking men to support the destruction of institutionalised sexism because "they bloody well should". Women are 51% of the population. Isn't it well past time that we achieved gender equality?!
If you're a man, and you don't think sexism is a problem, then quite frankly, you are naive and culturally blind and how about doing a little bit of thinking about it?
And if you do that thinking and you still come back and think it doesn't exist?
The government statistics on rape and sexual assault will prove you wrong.
The government statistics on equal pay will prove you wrong.
Counting Dead Women will prove you wrong.
Countless surveys on women in the workplace, women at home, women in education will prove you wrong.
The practices of sexual harassment, the consistent and overwhelming entries on Everyday Sexism project will prove you wrong.
The practice of FGM will prove you wrong.
The only recently banned 2 finger test in India will prove you wrong.
Malala Yousafzai's story will prove you wrong.
#BringBackOurGirls will prove you wrong.
The barrister who called a 13 year old female abuse victim "predatory" will prove you wrong.
The "she had it coming/was asking for it/shouldn't have been out that late/on her own/drinking" victim-blaming narratives prove you wrong.
The LSE Rugby club will prove you wrong. The Stirling University Hockey team will prove you wrong.
The statistics on rape and sexual assault and the lack of adequate policing and support on American campuses will prove you wrong.
The 200+ restrictions passed across states in America that make it harder for women to obtain safe, legal abortion will prove you wrong.
Anita Sarkeesian will prove you wrong.
Caroline Criado-Perez will prove you wrong.
Stella Creasy will prove you wrong.
Mary Beard, Hadley Freeman, Grace Dent, India Knight and Laurie Penny will prove you wrong.
Jennifer Lawrence will prove you wrong. She had her private photos stolen - and then when she dared to publicly name it for what it was - a sex crime - her Wikipedia page was adorned with those very same naked selfies. The message here is silence yourself woman.
Yes, there are idiots in the world. But ever wondered why the idiots always seem to be attacking, threatening, trolling women with sexually explicit or sexually violent comments?
The stud/slut paradox will prove you wrong.
The leader/bossy paradox will prove you wrong.
The Downing Street catwalk will prove you wrong.
Don't tell me that pink is for girls and blue is for boys.
Don't tell me to get back in the kitchen. Don't tell me to make you a sandwich.
Don't tell me that sexism doesn't exist. Because it's 2014 and it does and it bloody well shouldn't.
Sources:
http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/rape-myths-9147.html
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/oct/13/judy-finnigan-apologies-rape-comments-ched-evans-football
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/97907/government-stern-review.pdf
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27726280
http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/jan/11/male-female-rape-statistics-graphic
The other night, my sister & I attended a talk with Laura Bates and Caroline Criado-Perez, discussing what needs to be done to overturn the institutionalised sexism in our society. The point was raised about Emma Watson's recent appointment as a UN Goodwill Ambassador and her launch of the HeForShe campaign. The idea that feminism is unpalatable to men has long made feminist's eyes roll - as was pointed out by the speakers, the idea that we have to show that sexism is bad for men too in order to get their support is commendable, but the simple fact of the matter is that we should be asking men to support the destruction of institutionalised sexism because "they bloody well should". Women are 51% of the population. Isn't it well past time that we achieved gender equality?!
If you're a man, and you don't think sexism is a problem, then quite frankly, you are naive and culturally blind and how about doing a little bit of thinking about it?
And if you do that thinking and you still come back and think it doesn't exist?
The government statistics on rape and sexual assault will prove you wrong.
The government statistics on equal pay will prove you wrong.
Counting Dead Women will prove you wrong.
Countless surveys on women in the workplace, women at home, women in education will prove you wrong.
The practices of sexual harassment, the consistent and overwhelming entries on Everyday Sexism project will prove you wrong.
The practice of FGM will prove you wrong.
The only recently banned 2 finger test in India will prove you wrong.
Malala Yousafzai's story will prove you wrong.
#BringBackOurGirls will prove you wrong.
The barrister who called a 13 year old female abuse victim "predatory" will prove you wrong.
The "she had it coming/was asking for it/shouldn't have been out that late/on her own/drinking" victim-blaming narratives prove you wrong.
The LSE Rugby club will prove you wrong. The Stirling University Hockey team will prove you wrong.
The statistics on rape and sexual assault and the lack of adequate policing and support on American campuses will prove you wrong.
The 200+ restrictions passed across states in America that make it harder for women to obtain safe, legal abortion will prove you wrong.
Anita Sarkeesian will prove you wrong.
Caroline Criado-Perez will prove you wrong.
Stella Creasy will prove you wrong.
Mary Beard, Hadley Freeman, Grace Dent, India Knight and Laurie Penny will prove you wrong.
Jennifer Lawrence will prove you wrong. She had her private photos stolen - and then when she dared to publicly name it for what it was - a sex crime - her Wikipedia page was adorned with those very same naked selfies. The message here is silence yourself woman.
Yes, there are idiots in the world. But ever wondered why the idiots always seem to be attacking, threatening, trolling women with sexually explicit or sexually violent comments?
The stud/slut paradox will prove you wrong.
The leader/bossy paradox will prove you wrong.
The Downing Street catwalk will prove you wrong.
Don't tell me that pink is for girls and blue is for boys.
Don't tell me to get back in the kitchen. Don't tell me to make you a sandwich.
Don't tell me that sexism doesn't exist. Because it's 2014 and it does and it bloody well shouldn't.
Sources:
http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/rape-myths-9147.html
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/oct/13/judy-finnigan-apologies-rape-comments-ched-evans-football
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/97907/government-stern-review.pdf
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27726280
http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/jan/11/male-female-rape-statistics-graphic
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