How do you begin to reconcile the fact that, when you went to sleep last night, you were hoping you'd never wake up?
Or that when you did wake up, this nightmare would be over.
But what reason could ever be strong enough to want to not wake up?
Does there have to only be one? Or can several, smallish reasons add up over time?
Why does it become so hard to imagine waking up and being happy about that? Being pleased that you have one more day, as opposed to wishing yesterday had been your last?
Why has your brain made taking too many pills sound like a normal solution to what you're feeling?
Why, when you know logically, that it makes no sense to want to die, you only want to curl up and give in. Give up.
Be gone.
How do you go forth into the world and have a "good day", when you didn't even want this day in the first place?
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