Yesterday my phone died when I was coming back from Central London. I had no music. I had to listen to the world. I had no choice.
And on the train home I was across the aisle from a young mum and her son. Her phone rang and she proceeded to tell her father that she had no money. Only £60 in the bank. And the Bright House money was going out on Friday and two of her son's friends were having birthdays this weekend and it was her son's birthday this week and she still needed to get everything for him but how was she going to pay for it all?
What I'm about to say is not a boast, I am not trying to lord anything over anyone. But I have never had to worry about money. Not really. I live with my dad, and I don't pay rent. When I tried to pay rent to my dad, he told me to set up a savings account and pay my "rent" into there every month. So I was paying my rent to myself. I think my dad just wanted me to save more money so I'd be out of the house quicker. At university my student loan never covered my accommodation, because my family had been assessed and it was concluded they could help me out financially. Which they had to. I still worked, but because I wanted to, not because I had to.
I'm not getting out of this house anytime soon, not least because I'm going to Australia for a year and by the time I come back my savings will probably be decimated.
So to hear this woman's fears about paying for things, to hear that she might genuinely struggle to give her son the birthday he wanted, it made me feel uncomfortable.
And that's my understanding of having privilege. When someone elses experience is not equal to yours, and it makes you uncomfortable. It should make you uncomfortable, because only then can you understand it, accept it, and if you can, make steps to correct it. Some shy away from that uncomfortable feeling, and make excuses for it.
I can't change that I was born into a family that is not rich, but is not poor.
I also can't change the fact that I am white. It is frequently noted that the mainstream feminism, the "third wave" is not very diverse. Feminism as a movement has more often than not focused on the experiences and disadvantages that white women suffer. And that is not because the movement is being racist. But because the experiences and disadvantages suffered by white women are not always strictly the same as those suffered by women of colour, and the women propelled forward to lead the movement are frequently white.
That is also privilege.
So now I have recognised that I am privileged in being not-poor and white, what can I do about it?
I can read. I can listen. I can take in what other people's experiences are. I can't change my skin colour or roots but I can learn about other people's roots. I can learn about their lives as experienced because of their skin colour. I have to continue to challenge my own preconceptions - and I do have them, I'm not denying that - of race, sex, age, ability, class, and in challenging my own I can learn to challenge others too. I don't want to be blind to the differences between myself and others. We need to deconstruct the stereotypes, and tear them down piece by piece. Stereotypes of Northerners, Southerners. Stereotypes of old and young. Stereotypes of nationality, or religion. Stereotypes of race. Stereotypes of gender.
Human rights for everybody. I want to be uncomfortable, if it means I become a better person.
Showing posts with label stereotypes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stereotypes. Show all posts
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Does Action Man not need a futon too?
Here comes the rant guys.
The rant that's been bubbling away inside but I haven't found the right way to express it (or the time to sit down and write it).
It's a rant about the same old thing you've probably heard me go on about before. The same thing that feminism counts as the thing it's fighting against. The one thing I just spent the walk home reading about on Twitter.
Yep, it's sexism.
Plain and simple, insidious and subtle. Sexism in the media, in society, in our subconscious.
Several things have caught my eye across the last month or so that have made me go "Say whaaaaat?" * in an exaggerated manner that would not be out of place coming from an old friend of mine.
*note - often, this stays inside my head. Sometimes though, it is inevitable that some sound escapes from lips and encourages peculiar looks from surrounding pedestrians and/or commuters.
Sexism is the Metro article on Ikea miniature furniture that would "grace the home of any Disney princess" - because only women shop for furniture (Who could ever imagine a Disney princess furniture shopping? She has servants to do that!). Sexism is the same article insinuating that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (i.e men) don’t do yoga (that's crazy! they clearly have a lot of core strength and flexibility. you think they were born with that? Also, I literally Googled the words “yoga and martial arts” and one site says “There is no better marriage for a Martial Artist than the addition of Yoga practice.” See!)
Sexism is featuring a campaign about over-fishing and calls for more sustainable fishing practices and despite several men being involved in the campaign, featuring only pictures of women.
What started this rant going in my head was running on the treadmill at my gym, staring out the window. It's hard to describe, but the window is actually a glass wall that makes up the front of the gym, but it has poster/decorations that fill up most of the wall so you aren't on show to everyone walking past. These decorative posters, on the main front wall of the gym, which are the things you stare at when you're on the treadmill or bike, look like this:
Now, when you look at these for 20, 30 minutes several times a week, they appear to you to be more than just conveying a healthy lifestyle that one would associate with gyms.
The men are running, or weight training.
And the women... Well they are sitting down.
Chatting.
Because the gym is so totally the new place to catch up on gossip.
I could give these women (and the gym) the benefit of the doubt. They could have just finished a long workout and they are exchanging achievements. They could be about to start.
What they have or haven't done is not the point. The point is they are not doing anything.
Granted further down the exterior of the gym is this image:
But it continues to convey a stereotypical portrait of female health concerns. The women are not weight training, god forbid if they ever looked "muscle-y". Instead they're chatting or fighting the flab with gym-ball stomach crunches.
Stereotypical portrayals of women AND men are insidious and dangerous. It allows people to believe that objectifying women is ok, like the proliferation of lads mags. It allows people to think that men should be "manly" and only interested in cars or weights or women.
It has to stop. No one should have to live feeling as though this is the way life is and we just have to accept it.
If you ever read the feed from the Everyday Sexism project, you'll see how bad this is and how much it needs to change. How is it okay that men leer and comment about schoolgirls' bodies? How is okay that people use phrases like 'Don't be such a girl" as a put down?
It's not okay. It has to stop.
Just because we're women, doesn't mean we belong in the kitchen.
Not even if we're a tortoise.
The rant that's been bubbling away inside but I haven't found the right way to express it (or the time to sit down and write it).
It's a rant about the same old thing you've probably heard me go on about before. The same thing that feminism counts as the thing it's fighting against. The one thing I just spent the walk home reading about on Twitter.
Yep, it's sexism.
Plain and simple, insidious and subtle. Sexism in the media, in society, in our subconscious.
Several things have caught my eye across the last month or so that have made me go "Say whaaaaat?" * in an exaggerated manner that would not be out of place coming from an old friend of mine.
*note - often, this stays inside my head. Sometimes though, it is inevitable that some sound escapes from lips and encourages peculiar looks from surrounding pedestrians and/or commuters.
Sexism is the Metro article on Ikea miniature furniture that would "grace the home of any Disney princess" - because only women shop for furniture (Who could ever imagine a Disney princess furniture shopping? She has servants to do that!). Sexism is the same article insinuating that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (i.e men) don’t do yoga (that's crazy! they clearly have a lot of core strength and flexibility. you think they were born with that? Also, I literally Googled the words “yoga and martial arts” and one site says “There is no better marriage for a Martial Artist than the addition of Yoga practice.” See!)
Sexism is featuring a campaign about over-fishing and calls for more sustainable fishing practices and despite several men being involved in the campaign, featuring only pictures of women.
What started this rant going in my head was running on the treadmill at my gym, staring out the window. It's hard to describe, but the window is actually a glass wall that makes up the front of the gym, but it has poster/decorations that fill up most of the wall so you aren't on show to everyone walking past. These decorative posters, on the main front wall of the gym, which are the things you stare at when you're on the treadmill or bike, look like this:
Now, when you look at these for 20, 30 minutes several times a week, they appear to you to be more than just conveying a healthy lifestyle that one would associate with gyms.
The men are running, or weight training.
And the women... Well they are sitting down.
Chatting.
Because the gym is so totally the new place to catch up on gossip.
I could give these women (and the gym) the benefit of the doubt. They could have just finished a long workout and they are exchanging achievements. They could be about to start.
What they have or haven't done is not the point. The point is they are not doing anything.
Granted further down the exterior of the gym is this image:
But it continues to convey a stereotypical portrait of female health concerns. The women are not weight training, god forbid if they ever looked "muscle-y". Instead they're chatting or fighting the flab with gym-ball stomach crunches.
Stereotypical portrayals of women AND men are insidious and dangerous. It allows people to believe that objectifying women is ok, like the proliferation of lads mags. It allows people to think that men should be "manly" and only interested in cars or weights or women.
It has to stop. No one should have to live feeling as though this is the way life is and we just have to accept it.
If you ever read the feed from the Everyday Sexism project, you'll see how bad this is and how much it needs to change. How is it okay that men leer and comment about schoolgirls' bodies? How is okay that people use phrases like 'Don't be such a girl" as a put down?
It's not okay. It has to stop.
Just because we're women, doesn't mean we belong in the kitchen.
Not even if we're a tortoise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)