Just because
I'm growing my armpit hair...
does not mean
I'm going to hide them away.
QUELLE HORREUR, I hear you gasp.
Well, get over it.
I am already a week in to growing my armpit hair for a charity called Verity which supports women who suffer from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (see my JustGiving page here). The movement is called Armpits4August, and it's like a woman's version of Movember. Except, people with prostate cancer don't suddenly grow excessive hair, and if they did, well, people with prostates tend to be male, and hair on men is universally accepted.
But hair on women?
I mean, who'd a thunk it?
My mother called me "brave". Someone said armpit hair is gross and disgusting, but promised to sponsor me. There was the "Can I sponsor you not to do it?" comment. And then there is the assumption that I will hide my armpits away, like they are a deformity, or something to be ashamed of.
Whilst in my head I sometimes feel a little self-righteous and think "Yeah! I'm doing this! I'm not a slave to the razor! The patriarchy ain't gonna tell me what to do with my body hair!", these self-righteous moments pass and I remember that actually, as a woman I should be able to choose what I do with my body, and that includes my body hair, and if I choose to shave it off, then OK.
One of the biggest things I've learned in the last year about feminism is that it is about equality for all, and the freedom for everybody to make their own decisions. Not the "right" decisions. But the right decisions for themselves. And that includes the things most people think feminists hate, such as make-up and shaving and high heels and short dresses and bras.
For me, I shave when I feel like it. I showed my mum my new heels I wore last night to a charity fundraising dinner and her first comment was about me not having shaved my legs.
Erm, you might be my mother, mother, but it's not up to you whether I shave my legs. In fact, it's not up to anybody else. It's up to me.
And also, I didn't have the freakin' time between caring for my elderly dementia-ridden neighbour and trying to research laptops for my travels. I've got shit to DO people. I haven't got the time to rush a razor up my pins just so I can satisfy expectations of normal.
And that is where the comments get my goat. Shaved legs, shaved armpits, and even shaved muffs these days are the NORM. The societal NORM. So therefore armpit hair, leg hair, and muff hair, are wrong.
Since when did policing and eradicating our own body hair become the norm?
Since when is such a hatred of our bodies so normal?
We are taught so much to hate our own bodies. And I'm not just talking about women anymore. Yes, I would say women are the main targets of the media and the cosmetics industry and the cosmetic surgery industry. They want us to buy into the belief that we are not good enough/too fat/too ugly/too unfashionable, but I would say that because I am a woman. I can't away from the fact that I do not have a male perspective on this topic, and others. I wish I could have more discussions with men about how they are feeling. Because actually, whilst women's magazines are dangerous because they have articles on how to love your life adjacent to articles on the newest diets and hottest celeb techniques, men are also suffering from the cycle of self-hatred. Whilst women are given stick-thin models to aspire to, men are given macho muscle-men to throw themselves against the gym weights to look like.
Where's the compromise? Stick thin women and hyperbolic muscle men? The tiniest percentage of people look like that, and so it leaves the rest of us to just be miserable over our own, apparently inadequate, bodies.
I'm sick of being made to feel ashamed of my own body. I'm sick of being made to feel like I should be losing weight or toning up to compete in the world. My looks are not everything. I want to be healthy, not thin. And I'm especially sick of feeling like if I don't possess tanned, silky smooth legs that a handkerchief could float off of, then I'm not worth anything, or worthy of anything. The girl with the silky legs gets the guy, the self-esteem, the random beach holiday that women brandishing razors seem to get taken on. I don't want a guy that wants silky legs, thank you. I'd rather not have a guy if that was the deal.
And this is not just a Western problem - Chinese women are turning to cosmetic surgery to stay in their jobs. There is a global problem with body image, and something needs to be done.
We are, in a way - in a big way really - responsible for our own fears and insecurities. Yes the media can and does create a fear or insecurity but ultimately they create the opportunity for us to feel that fear, to harbour that insecurity. We allow it to take hold, to have strength, to possess our minds. That is why I still look at other women and wish I was as thin as her, or as fashionable as her, because I have allowed the idea that I am not good enough the way I look or the way I dress to grow and flourish inside.
But I am good enough for myself, no matter what my shape or size or length of armpit or leg hair. I have no reason to be good enough for anybody except myself. I feel like I'm being told I should shave my legs and my armpits and my muff because that's what people do. But why should I be made to feel ashamed for not doing that? The people that think it's gross, or disgusting, need to look at why they think that way. Who taught them that? Because science didn't - scientific research suggests that bacteria loves clammy, shaved armpits, and armpit hair suggests
What I want, what I would really like, if for all women to think about why they shave their armpits. Is it because hair is gross (science says no). Or because they think hair is gross (probably). And if that is what they think, then why do they think that, and is that the way it should be.
As I said above, one of the biggest things I've learned is that feminism is about choices, and if it is your choice to shave, then that's great. But I want you to be doing for you. If you are shaving because you're afraid of people's reactions, your friends' reactions or your boyfriend/girlfriend's reaction if you don't, then perhaps it's time to question not why people shave their armpit hair, but why people don't grow it. Don't do something because you're afraid of not doing it. Do something because you are afraid of doing it, like bungee jumping, sky diving, or growing your armpit hair...
And I would just like to reach out to all the women, and men, and say judge me on my personality, my beliefs, my flaws and virtues, and yes, my actions. But do not judge me on my looks, and do not judge me on my body hair. I am not a freak, I am not disgusting, and I am not growing it for you to pass comment on, unless that comment is the opener to a discussion or debate. I am growing it for myself, and this month for charity.
And here is my armpit a week in. There is nothing scary about being hairy.
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