Sweet As Bro! (An Ode to my Kiwi Experience)

How do I remember Kiwi Experience? Let me count the ways.

I remember realising how many trees there were on the South Island compared to the North Island.
So many trees. Conifers?! Ha.

I remember the way I couldn't get my breath back when I jumped off a pully swing in River Valley. All I could think was getting out of that water, and knowing that right then, HNS was in full play.

I remember the warmth, the unbearable heat of the water at Hot Water Beach. And being tackled in the sea.

I remember learning Maori tai chi and fighting stances and having our driver use my newly shaved leg to make his piece of rope.

I remember buying my hat, but I don't remember where I bought it.

I remember the only time I slept at the back of the bus. Or more accurately, I don't.

I remember the "orgy" room in which no orgies happened, just some light spooning. And all the other bunks in other hostels that creaked and shook.

I remember the 6 bed dorms and the 10 bed unit and the time we got 9 people in a 6 person room.

I remember drinking the shit mix after failing at Fingers. Surprisingly, I also remember the rest of that night.

I remember meeting all of Fiona's family on Skype. I remember (and have a video of) Rory drinking rum out of Callie's arse crack.

I remember all the International Consumption Rules. But I can't explain them, or I would have to consume. I've never done so many press ups in my life.

I remember the taste of snow from Mount Doom. I remember the taste of a Maori hangi. I remember the taste of the green drinks in the hot tub. I remember the taste of a roast dinner. I remember the taste of cigarettes again after 2 and a half years. I remember going out for a walk to buy them, after walking for 8 and a half hours already that day. I remember feeling like I was gonna die that day. I remember the euphoria running out into that car park, 19km conquered.

I remember the pang of jealousy at watching people bungy. I remember the smiles on everyone's faces because they'd survived, and there's obviously no feeling in the world like it.

I remember learning that glow worms aren't actually worms; they're actually maggots that when they hatch they are blind carnivorous flies that shag themselves to death. I remember the cold in the dark and the comfort of holding someone's hand.

I remember feeling nervous before speeding down a track in a luge. Whatever that is.

I remember feeling nervous before getting into a raft onto a grade 5 rapid. I remember the sound of the raft piercing against a rock.

I remember the utter devastation and just awful mess Christchurch is in, 3 years after the earthquakes. The haunting memorials. The bright and cheerful transition projects.

I remember the poncho party on a lake and people making pinky promises to jump in. They did, and they were freezing. I remember playing "Roxanne" on the banks of the lake in Queenstown, stripping as we went, trying to put on an alcohol blanket before getting in the water.

I remember Windy Wellington and Marlon and his pizza.

I remember being tied to someone for 2 and a half hours, trying to figure out how to get out. And cheating in a maze in order to get the hell out.

I remember selfies and scenic shots and panoramas and group shots and Maori faces and Go Pro videos.

I remember smiles, laughter, banter. Arguments. Dancing. Lots of drinking.

I remember the territorial, school children way we guarded the back of the bus.

I remember shouting "Living the Dream" and "Sweet As" and "Jason Derulo". And I remember our theme song.

I remember meeting someone in my dorm the night before who was on my bus the next day.  I remember meeting people who became such good friends that it's broken my heart a little to leave them behind.

I will never forget New Zealand, the most beautiful place on earth I've seen so far. I'll never forget the new things I've done. I'll never forget our driver, who we changed plans to stick with. I'll never forget the back of the bus crew. I wish with all my heart I could have stayed with them longer, forever even.

I'll never forget Kiwi Experience. Because on it, with those people, I was truly living the dream.